Today we discussed blended families in class. There are many challenges that arise when a parent decided to not only remarry but even date once a spouse has passed away or a divorce has occurred. However blended families can be very beautiful and functional. There is no one type of normalcy for these families. Normal will not be the same normal that is once was and it will not be the same for the you as it is for the next door neighbors.
But isn't that how anything good in life is. There is no one set way to accomplish your goals, what might work for you will not work for another person. But willingness to grow an prosper, love and teach is what is important.
However there are a few tips we went over in class today:
Accepting and Accommodating.
-Accept the fact that this family is different then the previous one. This will require developing new family units and strengthening already existing family units and roles.
-Accept the fact that it will take at least two years to reach some type of normalcy. In fact people who date to remarry often take a lot longer courting and dating than that which took place in the first marriage.
-Biological parent does all the heavy discipline. This is because they are still the parent. Problems can arise in developing relationships if the "new" parent tries to step in with heavy disciple. There can be a strain on the parents relationship as well as child parent relationships. Along with that rules can be interpreted differently from one individual to another.
-These couples will have more closed door discussions than any other parents. This is a must since the biological parent should do all the heavy discipline. This is not to say that the step parent should not have some say but these things should be discussed behind closed doors in order to make sure both parents are on the same page about things.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Friday, December 4, 2015
Being a Parent
In class this week we discussed a lot in regards to parenting. Two of the most common ways people parent is either through rewards or punishments. However we discussed how provided our children with consequences is a lot healthier than rewards or punishments. Consequences can be good or bad and are discussed and agreed upon with the children before things are set into action. Consequences is the way the Lord teaches us. The best example of a parent.
We also discussed how to confront our children, first a pure request. Through this we are giving our children opportunities to learn and grow. A polite request helps provide them with direction, and an opportunity to do the request on their own. Next we provide an I statement, for example:
When you..
I feel..
Because..
I would like..
of course there will be times that we have to provide them with a firmer statement. But when we give our children respect they will then be able to treat others with respect as well. Our communication skills with them will effect the way they are able to communicate with others around them. One of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be assertive and forgiving. A hard combination but this model of of pure request, i statement and firmer request helps us to do so.
The best thing we can do is to remember our children are not only our children but children of God. Through prayer we can figure out the best routes to take for our family.
We also discussed how to confront our children, first a pure request. Through this we are giving our children opportunities to learn and grow. A polite request helps provide them with direction, and an opportunity to do the request on their own. Next we provide an I statement, for example:
When you..
I feel..
Because..
I would like..
of course there will be times that we have to provide them with a firmer statement. But when we give our children respect they will then be able to treat others with respect as well. Our communication skills with them will effect the way they are able to communicate with others around them. One of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be assertive and forgiving. A hard combination but this model of of pure request, i statement and firmer request helps us to do so.
The best thing we can do is to remember our children are not only our children but children of God. Through prayer we can figure out the best routes to take for our family.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Budgeting
Today in class we discussed about the benefits and drawbacks
of having a two parent household.
I know there a lot of studies that show why it is important
to have a mother in the home. I strongly believe that will be beneficial in a
family setting. However, I do understand and realize that, that does not always
seem achievable.
In fact, I come from a family where once both children were
in school my parents both had jobs. I honestly do not feel that I was at a
disadvantage at all. I am thankful to have had a mother who took care of me and
my sister when we were young. I am thankful that I also had a mother who worked
as well. I am thankful for my father’s willingness to serve this beautiful
country. That being said, I think your decision of who is going to work and who
is not, or when you will work or take time off is strictly between you, your
spouse, and the Lord.
I would take this time to advise you though that no matter
what you do whether both people are in the work force or one individual is
working you find a way to budget two things.
1. Budget your money,
Make sure that you have an account of where your money is
going. Make sure you are aware of your spending habits. In doing so find a way
to set aside money for certain things every month. Along with that I would
advise you to do what you can to start some type of savings account.
2. Budget your time,
Working can take a toll on the family, time away from the
family even for beneficial things such and work or learning at school can
become detrimental to the family unit. Make sure that you are still taking time
to develop those family roles. Also the cultivate those relationships as a unit
and as sub-units.
In order to get by in this world, we must have a job.
However, do not forget that in order to enter the celestial kingdom we must be
sealed. What a shame it would be if we spent our whole lives working and did
not take the time to cultivate loving, lasting relationships. God loves you. I
love you!
Pray Always xoxo
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Fulfilling and Strethening your Role in Communication
This week was about communication! How important is communication and learning how to properly counsel our loved ones and those we come into contact with. In this section there was an amazing talk by M Russell Ballard called Strength in Counsel.
This talk was broken up into 5 different ways to help you fulfill your parental responsibilities.
The first, is focusing on fundamentals. We all have fundamentals that we live by whether religious or not. However since I am religious I am going to go from a religious stand point. Studying the teachings or the prophets and scriptures and focusing on those things is important. We need to learn to teach from basic fundamentals instead of the gospel according to me. This is important when teaching or children or even planning lessons.
Second, focus on people, do what you can to plan your schedule around other people schedules. I think this is also important to focus on the people because the way you talk to your 2 year old is going to be different than the way you communicate with your husband or wife. Be aware of who you are talking to and learn the best ways an times to communicate with them.
Third, promote openness and free expression. One big part of communication is also listening. Being anxiously engaged in what other people have to say so that they can share freely with you. Building your home to be a loving environment that anything can be discussed will help you to build stronger bonds as a family. Along with that matters can be discussed and handled in the home instead of people feeling they have to seek out love or guidance elsewhere.
Fourth, participation is a privilege make sure your family members see that the participation you add to these conversations or advice you are passionate about. This will help you to be an outstanding advocate in society, in the church, with your family and will help your children to learn to speak up and do the same in their lives in all different types of places or situations.
Fifth, lead with love. The number one thing we can remember is the last step. We come to this earth to become closer to our Father and brother, Jesus Christ. The best way we can do this is to implement love into everything we do. If we genuinely love or even try to love those around is we can begun to communicate, listen and build strong relationships that will build us up as well as those around us.
I'm going to leave a link to the talk at the bottom, feel free to check it out!
xoxo
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/10/strength-in-counsel?lang=eng
This talk was broken up into 5 different ways to help you fulfill your parental responsibilities.
The first, is focusing on fundamentals. We all have fundamentals that we live by whether religious or not. However since I am religious I am going to go from a religious stand point. Studying the teachings or the prophets and scriptures and focusing on those things is important. We need to learn to teach from basic fundamentals instead of the gospel according to me. This is important when teaching or children or even planning lessons.
Second, focus on people, do what you can to plan your schedule around other people schedules. I think this is also important to focus on the people because the way you talk to your 2 year old is going to be different than the way you communicate with your husband or wife. Be aware of who you are talking to and learn the best ways an times to communicate with them.
Third, promote openness and free expression. One big part of communication is also listening. Being anxiously engaged in what other people have to say so that they can share freely with you. Building your home to be a loving environment that anything can be discussed will help you to build stronger bonds as a family. Along with that matters can be discussed and handled in the home instead of people feeling they have to seek out love or guidance elsewhere.
Fourth, participation is a privilege make sure your family members see that the participation you add to these conversations or advice you are passionate about. This will help you to be an outstanding advocate in society, in the church, with your family and will help your children to learn to speak up and do the same in their lives in all different types of places or situations.
Fifth, lead with love. The number one thing we can remember is the last step. We come to this earth to become closer to our Father and brother, Jesus Christ. The best way we can do this is to implement love into everything we do. If we genuinely love or even try to love those around is we can begun to communicate, listen and build strong relationships that will build us up as well as those around us.
I'm going to leave a link to the talk at the bottom, feel free to check it out!
xoxo
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/10/strength-in-counsel?lang=eng
Monday, November 16, 2015
ABCs of Crisis
Sometimes we view stressors as very negative experiences. Especially stressors that take place in a family unit. However many things we consider stressors, especially in the family unit can be good things. Such a a child being born, or a new job starting, moving into a new house. However there are definitely more negative stressors such as the death of a loved one.
What can we do as individuals and families to make these stressors more bearable or dare I say even valuable. Most of these times we consider we are going through some type of crisis. However, I learned something very beautiful the characters for crisis in Chinese break up into two different parts; danger and opportunity.
Stress and crisis have the opportunity to cause lots of danger and break us down, but! They also can be a growing point. Crisis can enable us to gain humility, to grow closer to our families, grow closer to God, help us to be more understanding. So sometimes these situations that may seem dark and grim or maybe they really are dark situations can be turned around based on communication and attitudes with in the family.
When crisis arrives we need to look at the ABC crisis model. A- There is an Actual event. We are able to pin point it and discuss it openly with all family members. B- Both resources and responses, after recognizing the event that has taken place we now as a family assess the resources available to us to deal with the issue as well as how we are going to respond. Parents play a large role when it comes to this. I know this from my own personal experience. My father was overseas a lot when I was little because of the Marines and while that could have been a crisis for my mother having to raise her two children "alone" during that time the way she responded to his deployments had a lasting effect on me. I did not view these times as negative experiences and I still realized that I was able to communicate with my father. However I remember having friends on base who's mothers would quickly turn into panic mode when their husbands were gone. This reflected off the child and to this day many of those kids I grew up with that are now adults have seperation issues when their spouse is gone. C- Cognitions, the way people think and talk. After we have decided how we will respond to these situations we must be congicent in our everyday reactions to these events.
Always be active when crisis comes. There can be time for grieving but do not let that over take your life or your family. Make sure that people keep developing their roles in the family in a healthy way.
What can we do as individuals and families to make these stressors more bearable or dare I say even valuable. Most of these times we consider we are going through some type of crisis. However, I learned something very beautiful the characters for crisis in Chinese break up into two different parts; danger and opportunity.
Stress and crisis have the opportunity to cause lots of danger and break us down, but! They also can be a growing point. Crisis can enable us to gain humility, to grow closer to our families, grow closer to God, help us to be more understanding. So sometimes these situations that may seem dark and grim or maybe they really are dark situations can be turned around based on communication and attitudes with in the family.
When crisis arrives we need to look at the ABC crisis model. A- There is an Actual event. We are able to pin point it and discuss it openly with all family members. B- Both resources and responses, after recognizing the event that has taken place we now as a family assess the resources available to us to deal with the issue as well as how we are going to respond. Parents play a large role when it comes to this. I know this from my own personal experience. My father was overseas a lot when I was little because of the Marines and while that could have been a crisis for my mother having to raise her two children "alone" during that time the way she responded to his deployments had a lasting effect on me. I did not view these times as negative experiences and I still realized that I was able to communicate with my father. However I remember having friends on base who's mothers would quickly turn into panic mode when their husbands were gone. This reflected off the child and to this day many of those kids I grew up with that are now adults have seperation issues when their spouse is gone. C- Cognitions, the way people think and talk. After we have decided how we will respond to these situations we must be congicent in our everyday reactions to these events.
Always be active when crisis comes. There can be time for grieving but do not let that over take your life or your family. Make sure that people keep developing their roles in the family in a healthy way.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
What is Intamacy?
Too often especially now a days we confuse sex as intimacy. Intimacy is a part of a relationship that can not be over looked and is in the end more important that sex. I will not down play that sex is important for a functional marriage but intimacy is what makes sex beautiful.
Webster states intimacy as "a state marked by emotional closeness." Now a days we live in a generation where closeness is marked as a physical thing. But real "closeness" is much deeper than that. It is a lot easier to strip down physically in front of people rather than emotionally. Stripping down emotionally is more bare, and raw. But from that something wonderful happens. A superficial relationship is put to the side and you are able to build something that is more than skin on skin.
Intimacy comes from communication a type of communication that can be embarrassing, or uncomfortable however this deeper level of communication is also exciting, beautiful and has so much worth. I would beg you to find someone you can talk to, about anything. Not only that but someone who you can grow with and work with. This will help you so much in the long run.
xoxo
Webster states intimacy as "a state marked by emotional closeness." Now a days we live in a generation where closeness is marked as a physical thing. But real "closeness" is much deeper than that. It is a lot easier to strip down physically in front of people rather than emotionally. Stripping down emotionally is more bare, and raw. But from that something wonderful happens. A superficial relationship is put to the side and you are able to build something that is more than skin on skin.
Intimacy comes from communication a type of communication that can be embarrassing, or uncomfortable however this deeper level of communication is also exciting, beautiful and has so much worth. I would beg you to find someone you can talk to, about anything. Not only that but someone who you can grow with and work with. This will help you so much in the long run.
xoxo
Thursday, October 29, 2015
4 steps to a relationship
In class we determined the four steps to a relationship and discussed why each of them specifically serves its own special purpose.
I kind of touched on the first step of a relationship in my last weeks post. This step was dating, going on dates with a wide variety of people to a wide variety of places or activities. During this time you should be able to learn about your self, what matters to you in a relationship and develop skills.
Then there is courting, this is when you begin dating some exclusivity. Dating someone exclusively is to date someone for marriage. During this time you are seeing how you both handle things as a couple and learning and growing together to see if that bond can be taken to the next level. However it is important to remember the keep going on dates with each other while you are courting.
Next if both people are willing and positive is engagement. Engagement is putting total commitment into one another. It is saying that you are in it for the long haul. Use this time of engagement to become closer to one another. It is easy to get caught up in the planning of the wedding and focus your attention upon that. If you are a girl it is also really easy to lose sight of the marriage and only focus on the planning of the wedding. Take time to make sure that when stressful situations arise during the engagement you are discussing things with your spouse and not a parent or friend. Also make sure that you are preparing for you actual marriage as much as your wedding.
After engagement come Marriage. This is a beautiful gift to be able to have someone with you for time and all eternity. Struggles will arise whether they be money, moving ect. Make sure you communicate with one another and take the time to still go on those dates that got you to here in the first place. When children come along make sure that attention is given to each child as well as your spouse. Take time away from your children to work on your relationship together.
Marriage is a magnificent thing. The journey of getting there may not be super easy but it is super worth it. However once you have reached marriage thats not the destination. The destination is eternity together. Make sure you find ways to let your love grow. Communicate and build together along side one another.
much love, xoxo
Dayna Schneider
I kind of touched on the first step of a relationship in my last weeks post. This step was dating, going on dates with a wide variety of people to a wide variety of places or activities. During this time you should be able to learn about your self, what matters to you in a relationship and develop skills.
Then there is courting, this is when you begin dating some exclusivity. Dating someone exclusively is to date someone for marriage. During this time you are seeing how you both handle things as a couple and learning and growing together to see if that bond can be taken to the next level. However it is important to remember the keep going on dates with each other while you are courting.
Next if both people are willing and positive is engagement. Engagement is putting total commitment into one another. It is saying that you are in it for the long haul. Use this time of engagement to become closer to one another. It is easy to get caught up in the planning of the wedding and focus your attention upon that. If you are a girl it is also really easy to lose sight of the marriage and only focus on the planning of the wedding. Take time to make sure that when stressful situations arise during the engagement you are discussing things with your spouse and not a parent or friend. Also make sure that you are preparing for you actual marriage as much as your wedding.
After engagement come Marriage. This is a beautiful gift to be able to have someone with you for time and all eternity. Struggles will arise whether they be money, moving ect. Make sure you communicate with one another and take the time to still go on those dates that got you to here in the first place. When children come along make sure that attention is given to each child as well as your spouse. Take time away from your children to work on your relationship together.
Marriage is a magnificent thing. The journey of getting there may not be super easy but it is super worth it. However once you have reached marriage thats not the destination. The destination is eternity together. Make sure you find ways to let your love grow. Communicate and build together along side one another.
much love, xoxo
Dayna Schneider
Thursday, October 22, 2015
The 6 Ps
Okay now Ladiiieesss!
Time to talk dating. But really guys you should probably read this too. In class this week we discussed a lot in the regards to dating and spouse choosing. There are many different filters that are used when we begin to date. The first being propinquity which basically just refers to nearness of location, it is natural that we are going to start dating people that we can see and our near us. Yes, online dating is really popular and can be very beneficial but even then there comes a time where you can't move forward with out interacting in person. The second filter that we use is appearance. Big surprise right? Now the idea that everyone has a "type" is actually a lot less common than we think. When it comes to appearances we usually have more of a yes and no list. This list is different for everyone. For instance when I see a guy with dark hair I am more likely to be attracted to him. However if my "type" was dark hair then I would be attracted to every guy on the street with dark hair and if that was the case I would probably be married by now. So we have our yes and no lists that help us weed out who we find "acceptable" to date. Some of the other filters we use when dating consist of region, lifestyle, values, education or intelligence and well a family background.
So after we have sifted through all these different filters what happens now? Well hopefully that person feels the same way and we can set up a date. Now let me explain something, watching netflix or redbox is not a date. I repeat watching netflix or redbox is NOT a date. Shocking right? This is where things get tricky. We have developed into a "hang out" or "chill" culture. We do not go on dates anymore. Instead we watch movies or TV shows and eat food because it's easier or cheaper or there's less pressure or whatever. Now I don't know if you have ever heard the term "You marry who you date" but if your dating consists of only watching netflix you're going to have a really boring marriage once there's no more episodes of The Office left to watch. Okay so now your thinking "So if netflix isn't a date then what?'
Here's where the first set of P's comes in.
Planned
Paid for
Paired off
So planned for means that you or your date has either previously decided on the activity that you will be doing and there is a time line, or schedule for the night usually should consist of some type of activity. Activities give you more possibilities to get to know your date rather than just sitting there watching a movie. Paid for means that if anything needed to be bought prior to the date that has happened or if the date needs to be paid for during it that has already been figured out. Paired off, if you're with a group there is an even amount of boy and girls and everyone is aware of who they are paired with. You start the night and end the night with that person.
Now there's no set time that says how long it takes to get to know someone or when you know if you could marry them. But once you do decide he is the "right" one I would say this is when the second set of Ps comes in.
Provide
Protect
Preside
So the last three Ps are characteristics that you should be able to recognize during the first three Ps. During dating you begin to know someone better, you learn their quirks and how they handle things. Provide, Protect and preside might sound like a military saying but for me it is what I want in my husband. Webster definition of provide says to give someone something what they want or need. Now before you think I am a gold digger realize that this goes farther than me. When I have children I want to know that I have a husband who can provide for my children and that we can give them what they need and hopefully at times what they want. Also there is a distinctive difference in someone who wants to provide and someone who believes it is a chore. Protect in Webster says to keep someone or something safe from harm or from being lost. This again goes for me as well as my kids. I want to know that my husband will protect us, even if this is as simple as turning back and getting the teddy bear my child accidentally leaves at the hotel room. Now Preside in Webster is to exercise guidance, direction or control. Now I am not saying I want a husband that takes control of me but having someone who is willing to give me meaningful guidance and direction sounds like something pretty important to me and something I want even need for the rest of my life. As far as the control comes into play I do want someone who is willing to take control in hard situations that I can trust when maybe I feel I can not trust myself.
In conclusion I want to end by saying that while I touched a lot on what the guy can do or be in the relationship, I also believe that the girls should play a strong role as well. But I will get into that another day. Remember you deserve the best and others deserve the best from you as well.
Well babes, see ya next week!
xoxo
Time to talk dating. But really guys you should probably read this too. In class this week we discussed a lot in the regards to dating and spouse choosing. There are many different filters that are used when we begin to date. The first being propinquity which basically just refers to nearness of location, it is natural that we are going to start dating people that we can see and our near us. Yes, online dating is really popular and can be very beneficial but even then there comes a time where you can't move forward with out interacting in person. The second filter that we use is appearance. Big surprise right? Now the idea that everyone has a "type" is actually a lot less common than we think. When it comes to appearances we usually have more of a yes and no list. This list is different for everyone. For instance when I see a guy with dark hair I am more likely to be attracted to him. However if my "type" was dark hair then I would be attracted to every guy on the street with dark hair and if that was the case I would probably be married by now. So we have our yes and no lists that help us weed out who we find "acceptable" to date. Some of the other filters we use when dating consist of region, lifestyle, values, education or intelligence and well a family background.
So after we have sifted through all these different filters what happens now? Well hopefully that person feels the same way and we can set up a date. Now let me explain something, watching netflix or redbox is not a date. I repeat watching netflix or redbox is NOT a date. Shocking right? This is where things get tricky. We have developed into a "hang out" or "chill" culture. We do not go on dates anymore. Instead we watch movies or TV shows and eat food because it's easier or cheaper or there's less pressure or whatever. Now I don't know if you have ever heard the term "You marry who you date" but if your dating consists of only watching netflix you're going to have a really boring marriage once there's no more episodes of The Office left to watch. Okay so now your thinking "So if netflix isn't a date then what?'
Here's where the first set of P's comes in.
Planned
Paid for
Paired off
So planned for means that you or your date has either previously decided on the activity that you will be doing and there is a time line, or schedule for the night usually should consist of some type of activity. Activities give you more possibilities to get to know your date rather than just sitting there watching a movie. Paid for means that if anything needed to be bought prior to the date that has happened or if the date needs to be paid for during it that has already been figured out. Paired off, if you're with a group there is an even amount of boy and girls and everyone is aware of who they are paired with. You start the night and end the night with that person.
Now there's no set time that says how long it takes to get to know someone or when you know if you could marry them. But once you do decide he is the "right" one I would say this is when the second set of Ps comes in.
Provide
Protect
Preside
So the last three Ps are characteristics that you should be able to recognize during the first three Ps. During dating you begin to know someone better, you learn their quirks and how they handle things. Provide, Protect and preside might sound like a military saying but for me it is what I want in my husband. Webster definition of provide says to give someone something what they want or need. Now before you think I am a gold digger realize that this goes farther than me. When I have children I want to know that I have a husband who can provide for my children and that we can give them what they need and hopefully at times what they want. Also there is a distinctive difference in someone who wants to provide and someone who believes it is a chore. Protect in Webster says to keep someone or something safe from harm or from being lost. This again goes for me as well as my kids. I want to know that my husband will protect us, even if this is as simple as turning back and getting the teddy bear my child accidentally leaves at the hotel room. Now Preside in Webster is to exercise guidance, direction or control. Now I am not saying I want a husband that takes control of me but having someone who is willing to give me meaningful guidance and direction sounds like something pretty important to me and something I want even need for the rest of my life. As far as the control comes into play I do want someone who is willing to take control in hard situations that I can trust when maybe I feel I can not trust myself.
In conclusion I want to end by saying that while I touched a lot on what the guy can do or be in the relationship, I also believe that the girls should play a strong role as well. But I will get into that another day. Remember you deserve the best and others deserve the best from you as well.
Well babes, see ya next week!
xoxo
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Men and Women are both precious beings in the sight of the Lord. However he also gave them separate and beautiful talents to fulfill. To often these days we try to take away those gifts, or we downplay their importance.
There is a strict essence of equality in society today. With the demand for equality we begin to tear down the traits that Heavenly Father instilled to his children. The difference in man and woman is what makes their roles on this earth so unique and so wonderful. Differences do not make one individual more than another. Differences help us to learn how to love one another, they help us to learn from each other to be able to build and grow.
The role of a Mother and Father is very clear. The Family A Proclamation to The World States, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
Mothers and Fathers, Men and Women are equal partners. They can both develop these qualities of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love compassion and work. But the Fathers responsibility to provide and preside and the Mothers responsibility to nurture help them to become closer to the people the Lord intended them to be.
Now I do not mean to say that Fathers can not be nurturing and Mothers can not provide. I have met wonderful men and women who provide and nurture at the same time. But the roles are there and to instead of squishing them we should celebrate them. In celebrating them we also refrain from critiquing them. That is when equality takes place.
Well babes, I'm gonna attach two talks for you.
Have a great night!
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/10/the-role-of-righteous-women?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1977/10/father-your-role-your-responsibility?lang=eng&media=video
There is a strict essence of equality in society today. With the demand for equality we begin to tear down the traits that Heavenly Father instilled to his children. The difference in man and woman is what makes their roles on this earth so unique and so wonderful. Differences do not make one individual more than another. Differences help us to learn how to love one another, they help us to learn from each other to be able to build and grow.
The role of a Mother and Father is very clear. The Family A Proclamation to The World States, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
Mothers and Fathers, Men and Women are equal partners. They can both develop these qualities of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love compassion and work. But the Fathers responsibility to provide and preside and the Mothers responsibility to nurture help them to become closer to the people the Lord intended them to be.
Now I do not mean to say that Fathers can not be nurturing and Mothers can not provide. I have met wonderful men and women who provide and nurture at the same time. But the roles are there and to instead of squishing them we should celebrate them. In celebrating them we also refrain from critiquing them. That is when equality takes place.
Well babes, I'm gonna attach two talks for you.
Have a great night!
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/10/the-role-of-righteous-women?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1977/10/father-your-role-your-responsibility?lang=eng&media=video
The Leave and Cleave Theory
A family, ideally consists of a Mother and a Father, along with help form the Lord they are able to bring children into this world and build a life and family together. But what happens to this family unit? While being a close family unit is wonderful there comes a time in which the child or children must leave the home.
There are many different cultures through out the world that view the role of families differently. There are some that say that the children are always my babies, there are some where the children must serve their parents always no matter what. There are cultures where it is prized to be a boy and looked down upon the be a girl.
A culture I am thankful for is that of leaving and cleaving. In Genesis 2: 24 it states, " For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
While it is important for parents to care and provide for their children, they are essentially using this time to prepare them to go out into the world on their own. To then do as they did and find a spouse so that they may bring spirit sons and daughters into this world as well. Then this culture or cycle continues to children leave and find a spouse so that they may have children of their own. So that God's work can continue, so that our posterity may continue, that missionary work can continue and so much more.
This is why the process of choosing and picking a spouse is so important. God has blessed us with the opportunity to grow and the most amazing way we can grow and become more like him is to be sealed for time and all eternity and feel that special love that can only be felt through having children.
There are many different cultures through out the world that view the role of families differently. There are some that say that the children are always my babies, there are some where the children must serve their parents always no matter what. There are cultures where it is prized to be a boy and looked down upon the be a girl.
A culture I am thankful for is that of leaving and cleaving. In Genesis 2: 24 it states, " For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
While it is important for parents to care and provide for their children, they are essentially using this time to prepare them to go out into the world on their own. To then do as they did and find a spouse so that they may bring spirit sons and daughters into this world as well. Then this culture or cycle continues to children leave and find a spouse so that they may have children of their own. So that God's work can continue, so that our posterity may continue, that missionary work can continue and so much more.
This is why the process of choosing and picking a spouse is so important. God has blessed us with the opportunity to grow and the most amazing way we can grow and become more like him is to be sealed for time and all eternity and feel that special love that can only be felt through having children.
Family Theories
Family traditions and theories have been embedded from generation to generation. I know many times growing up we say the infamous words, "I'm never going to do that to my kids." or "I'm never going to be like my mom." The thing is in reality we most likely are going to pull from those situations and say the same exact things our parents said or did. There is nothing wrong with that. But! We should be aware of the family traditions, rules or theories that we implement into our lives for time and all eternity.
Honestly I am grateful that my parents decided to break "tradition". If they would not have done so I would not have had the opportunity to be raised in the church. Both of my parents are converts, they come from wonderful families. I am thankful for the traditions my parents have kept going from their parents. I am thankful for the way my parents were raised and the standards instilled in them. However I am also grateful for the opportunity that I had to attend girls camp every year with my father. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to see my mother serve in leadership positions through out my youth.
Too much we think that things either have to stay the same or completely change. How beautiful it is when we realize that we can pull upon things from our past as well as things that can build a brighter future. Family is forever so I do believe that some traditions should last forever as well. However I also believe the Lord blesses us with opportunities to grow as a family and find new ways to do things. This could be through conversion, through the birth of a new child, or marriage in the family, or even something as simple as a Pinterest board that brings new ideas into the home. We are given this life to not just endure but to build families.
Honestly I am grateful that my parents decided to break "tradition". If they would not have done so I would not have had the opportunity to be raised in the church. Both of my parents are converts, they come from wonderful families. I am thankful for the traditions my parents have kept going from their parents. I am thankful for the way my parents were raised and the standards instilled in them. However I am also grateful for the opportunity that I had to attend girls camp every year with my father. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to see my mother serve in leadership positions through out my youth.
Too much we think that things either have to stay the same or completely change. How beautiful it is when we realize that we can pull upon things from our past as well as things that can build a brighter future. Family is forever so I do believe that some traditions should last forever as well. However I also believe the Lord blesses us with opportunities to grow as a family and find new ways to do things. This could be through conversion, through the birth of a new child, or marriage in the family, or even something as simple as a Pinterest board that brings new ideas into the home. We are given this life to not just endure but to build families.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Empty Spaces: Children
In 1968 the Population Bomb was written by Professor Paul R Ehrlich. This book stroke fear into the hearts of many American as well as many people around the world. After World War 2 ended there was a massive population increase that we have come to know as the Baby Boom. Professor Ehrlich's book spoke of how due to the Baby Boom if population growth continued the way it was projected to do so then the world would overpopulate. This quickly began to strike fear into the hearts of many people. Questions of where would people live, what would they eat began to arise. Along with the big one that still lingers today, "How can we afford this?"
It is interesting if you travel all over people are having less and less children. The fertility rate (fertility rate: the average number of children born over the lifetime of the average woman) per American household is around 2.13. 2.13 is pretty low right? The sad thing is America has the highest amount fertility rate and that is highly contributed by immigrants which make up a pretty large percentage of Americans. Many other countries are in the 1.9-1.3 range. Many people in different countries say that that is because that is all they can afford. While they still recognize family as a powerful force the want for children is lacking. What many people fail to realize is this fear of not being able to economically handle children or that a larger population will cause issues economically is flawed.
I am going to explain this from a economical stand point as well as a Christian stand point. Feel free to take it or leave it as you may.
While the generation is growing and will continue to grow for a while there will be a drop off point. Many countries are already being to have a higher death rate then birth rate. There are not enough people to replace the jobs that are currently available. Along with that early retirement will become a thing of the past because there will not be enough workers to support the amount of retired folks. The baby boomers are the most educated in American history and they are starting to retire. There is already a problem with not having enough people to take their jobs in the long run but then we also run into a human capitalism problem with this lack of education through out the newer generations. Innovation declines with birthrate declines, so the quality level in the workforce is declining. Maintaining a current standard of living will require us to become even harder workers. So if we want to say this is all a matter of economics we are destroying our economy and ability to retire early by refusing to have children due to money reasons.
Spiritually I feel very strongly about having children. I believe that as a woman I have been given an amazing opportunity and even a responsibility from the Lord to bring children into this world. There are so many beautiful little spirits that want to have bodies and I was lucky enough to have a mother who even at 37 was willing to have children and bring me into this world. I believe that out of all the callings I receive in this life being a wife and a mother is the most important and heavenly calling I will ever be given.
However I must say I do think spouses need to come to an agreement on when and how many children they are going to have, while also being cognizant of the will of the Lord. Sometimes we let the fear of not being adequate enough or having adequate money or supplies gets in the way of our eternal progression it is important in those times to rely on the Lord and remember you and your spouse are fulfilling a sacred calling. I understand that every family situation is different. Pray figure out what is best for you and your family. Grow, love and learn.
Okay babes, I am going to add a talk from Neil L. Anderson because I think it very accurately describes my views on children and their divine roles they play in the family as well as society. Fell free to read it.
Till next time. xoxo.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng
It is interesting if you travel all over people are having less and less children. The fertility rate (fertility rate: the average number of children born over the lifetime of the average woman) per American household is around 2.13. 2.13 is pretty low right? The sad thing is America has the highest amount fertility rate and that is highly contributed by immigrants which make up a pretty large percentage of Americans. Many other countries are in the 1.9-1.3 range. Many people in different countries say that that is because that is all they can afford. While they still recognize family as a powerful force the want for children is lacking. What many people fail to realize is this fear of not being able to economically handle children or that a larger population will cause issues economically is flawed.
I am going to explain this from a economical stand point as well as a Christian stand point. Feel free to take it or leave it as you may.
While the generation is growing and will continue to grow for a while there will be a drop off point. Many countries are already being to have a higher death rate then birth rate. There are not enough people to replace the jobs that are currently available. Along with that early retirement will become a thing of the past because there will not be enough workers to support the amount of retired folks. The baby boomers are the most educated in American history and they are starting to retire. There is already a problem with not having enough people to take their jobs in the long run but then we also run into a human capitalism problem with this lack of education through out the newer generations. Innovation declines with birthrate declines, so the quality level in the workforce is declining. Maintaining a current standard of living will require us to become even harder workers. So if we want to say this is all a matter of economics we are destroying our economy and ability to retire early by refusing to have children due to money reasons.
Spiritually I feel very strongly about having children. I believe that as a woman I have been given an amazing opportunity and even a responsibility from the Lord to bring children into this world. There are so many beautiful little spirits that want to have bodies and I was lucky enough to have a mother who even at 37 was willing to have children and bring me into this world. I believe that out of all the callings I receive in this life being a wife and a mother is the most important and heavenly calling I will ever be given.
However I must say I do think spouses need to come to an agreement on when and how many children they are going to have, while also being cognizant of the will of the Lord. Sometimes we let the fear of not being adequate enough or having adequate money or supplies gets in the way of our eternal progression it is important in those times to rely on the Lord and remember you and your spouse are fulfilling a sacred calling. I understand that every family situation is different. Pray figure out what is best for you and your family. Grow, love and learn.
Okay babes, I am going to add a talk from Neil L. Anderson because I think it very accurately describes my views on children and their divine roles they play in the family as well as society. Fell free to read it.
Till next time. xoxo.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng
Some extra Family help
In case you want to dive a little bit deeper into the family. Feel free to also check out some of these other blogs.
Student Name
|
Blog Name
|
Michael Williams
|
http://MichaelWilliamsCounseling.com
|
| Trent Winn |
http://trentwinn.blogspot.com/
|
| Rebecca Carter |
http://
|
| Elizabeth Holmes |
http://elephantsfavoritefood.blogspot.com
|
| Brailey Ellis |
http://
|
| Nate Blumenburg |
http://nathanblumenberg.blogspot.com
|
| Katelyn S |
http://
|
| Shauna D |
http://
|
| Stephanie S |
http://
|
| Marissa P |
http://
|
| Christy Y |
http://
|
| Mariah M |
http://
|
| Cassandra B |
http://c
|
| Samantha W |
http://
|
| Piper Stocking |
http://
|
| Kaylie Kenison | |
| Addi Heap |
http://
|
| Ashley Judy |
http://http://ashley12judy.blogspot.com/
|
| Tim Proskine |
http://
|
| Kenedi Goble | |
Madison Walker
|
http://
|
| Jordanne Walker |
http://
|
| Kaylee Kellogg |
http://
|
| Cayley Barton |
http://cayleybarton.blogspot.com
|
| Micheal Stevenson |
http://
|
| Kia Dewsnup |
http://
|
| Megan Fokken |
http://
|
| Karen Lozano |
http://
|
| Kaylie Kenison | |
| Celeste Riches |
http://
|
| Nicole Barton |
http://
|
| Miranda Mortensen |
http://
|
| Madeline Fife |
http://
|
| Katie Beeson |
http://https://ktbzn.wordpress.com/
|
| Dayna Schneider |
http://
|
| Lacey Turpin |
http://
|
| Melissa Gould |
http://
|
| Kourtney Howard |
http://
|
| Mccall Donovan |
http://
|
| Raquel Villafuerte |
http://
|
| Mariah Michealis |
http://
|
| Ben Davies |
http://
|
| Ashley Pound Ethan Watson Stephanie Dudley Kimberly Murphy Ashley Judy Devree Hamblin |
http://
http://ethansfamily2015.blogspot.com/ keytoeternalhappiness.wordpress.com loooveathome.wordpress.com ashley12judy.blogspot.com http://devreeslife.blogspot.com/ |
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