The 6 Ps

Okay now Ladiiieesss!

Time to talk dating. But really guys you should probably read this too. In class this week we discussed a lot in the regards to dating and spouse choosing. There are many different filters that are used when we begin to date. The first being propinquity which basically just refers to nearness of location, it is natural that we are going to start dating people that we can see and our near us. Yes, online dating is really popular and can be very beneficial but even then there comes a time where you  can't move forward with out interacting in person.  The second filter that we use is appearance. Big surprise right? Now the idea that everyone has a "type" is actually a lot less common than we think. When it comes to appearances we usually have more of a yes and no list. This list is different for everyone. For instance when I see a guy with dark hair I am more likely to be attracted to him. However if my "type" was dark hair then I would be attracted to every guy on the street with dark hair and if that was the case  I would probably be married by now. So we have our yes and no lists that help us weed out who we find "acceptable" to date. Some of the other filters we use when dating consist of region, lifestyle, values, education or intelligence and well a family background.

So after we have sifted through all these different filters what happens now? Well hopefully that person feels the same way and we can set up a date. Now let me explain something, watching netflix or redbox is not a date. I repeat watching netflix or redbox is NOT a date. Shocking right? This is where things get tricky. We have developed into a "hang out" or "chill" culture. We do not go on dates anymore. Instead we watch movies or TV shows and eat food because it's easier or cheaper or there's less pressure or whatever. Now I don't know if you have ever heard the term "You marry who you date" but if your dating consists of only watching netflix you're going to have a really boring marriage once there's no more episodes of The Office left to watch. Okay so now your thinking "So if netflix isn't a date then what?'

Here's where the first set of P's comes in.
Planned
Paid for
Paired off

So planned for means that you or your date has either previously decided on the activity that you will be doing and there is a time line, or schedule for the night usually should consist of some type of activity. Activities give you more possibilities to get to know your date rather than just sitting there watching a movie. Paid for means that if anything needed to be bought prior to the date that has happened or if the date needs to be paid for during it that has already been figured out. Paired off, if you're with a group there is an even amount of boy and girls and everyone is aware of who they are paired with. You start the night and end the night with that person.

Now there's no set time that says how long it takes to get to know someone or when you know if you could marry them. But once you do decide he is the "right" one I would say this is when the second set of Ps comes in.

Provide
Protect
Preside

So the last three Ps are characteristics that you should be able to recognize during the first three Ps. During dating you begin to know someone better, you learn their quirks and how they handle things. Provide, Protect and preside might sound like a military saying but for me it is what I want in my husband. Webster definition of provide says to give someone something what they want or need. Now before you think I am a gold digger realize that this goes farther than me. When I have children I want to know that I have a husband who can provide for my children and that we can give them what they need and hopefully at times what they want. Also there is a distinctive difference in someone who wants to provide and someone who believes it is a chore. Protect in Webster says to keep someone or something safe from harm or from being lost. This again goes for me as well as my kids. I want to know that my husband will protect us, even if this is as simple as turning back and getting the teddy bear my child accidentally leaves at the hotel room. Now Preside in Webster is to exercise guidance, direction or control.  Now I am not saying I want a husband that takes control of me but having someone who is willing to give me meaningful guidance and direction sounds like something pretty important to me and something I want even need for the rest of my life. As far as the control comes into play I do want someone who is willing to take control in hard situations that I can trust when maybe I feel I can not trust myself.

In conclusion I want to end by saying that while I touched a lot on what the guy can do or be in the relationship, I also believe that the girls should play a strong role as well. But I will get into that another day. Remember you deserve the best and others deserve the best from you as well.

Well babes, see ya next week!
xoxo