Parenting

Parenting techniques will be highly affected based upon the temperament of the child. I think the best way you can be a good parent to your child is to get to know them personally. Different children require different attention as well as different parenting.

Sister Holland said, “parenting has almost nothing to do with training. It has everything to do with your heart.” I love that. You can take classes all day long and read books but at the end of the day your biggest helper is going to be the Lord. When working along side him to raise and rear his children you will be able to know what is best for your children.

The best thing you can do to raise your children or future children is to pray to know how to make decisions with help from the Lord. One of the hardest things to do is to realize that the Lord trusts you and sometimes you have to make those decisions and then stick with them and the Lord will step in if needed.

Learning to understand your divine identity as a child of God will help you to parent your children because you will also be able to see them for their true identity as well, children of God. Parenthood is not a hobby it is a calling!

To be a Mother or Father

Once you are married you are able to experience the most beautiful thing that makes you become more like your Father in Heaven. You are able to bring a child into this world. Having children enables us to learn so much more about the Plan of Salvation and understand the Fathers love for us on a deeper level. 

In the world today there is a lot of speculation on whether it really matters if a child has a mother and a father as well as the roles that those two people play in a child’s life. Understanding your role as a mother or father is crucial to the life of a child, along with that you want to find someone who understand how sacred their role is as well. 

We are so lucky to have The Family: A Proclamation to the World which was given to us by1 a loving Prophet and apostles from the mouth of the Lord. Through this we are able to more deeply understand our divine roles as parents. It states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” 

It is important to recognize that these characteristics are God given and enable us to function well together as husband and wife. Along with that it says they are equal partners. Too much in the world we assume that in order to equal everything has to be exactly the same 50/50. This may not always be the case. There will be things your spouse does well and things you do well. Figuring out the best way to make these things work in your home is what makes and equal marriage, working in harmony with the Lord is what makes and equal marriage. 

So now,

To the Future Mothers: “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” How blessed are we to become mothers?! So blessed, it really enables us to become closer to our Heavenly Father and blesses us with the biggest learning experience of our lives. 

Here’s what I can tell you to prepare for motherhood now and these are just a couple things.

• ·        Cultivate and develop the values that are taught in the Young Women’s program in yourself.

• ·        Take a parenting class, or learn about parenting.

• ·        Talk to people you look up to in your life, maybe your parents, maybe another couple from your ward.

• ·        Seek out someone who hold the same standards as you to be with.

• ·        Pray always.

I have to take a second to let you all know how excited I am to be able to be a mother. This has been something I have looked forward to since I was a child. I am so grateful for my role as a woman and I am so grateful that the Lord has given me the opportunity and blessing to one day be a mother. When I said earlier to take some family or parenting classes that is what I have been doing in school even though it is not my major and it helps me recognize my role so much more prominently and appreciate it as well. Along with that I have started doing the Young Women program over again and it reminds me of my innate qualities I have been blessed with! For me these things have helped me realize that I am adequate, please find whatever it is that helps you to understand your divine role and qualities because it will make your life seem so much fuller!

To the Future Fathers: “The father’s leadership of the family is his most important and sacred responsibility and the family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and, as such, transcends every other interest of life.” What an awesome responsibility to become a father! In a world that preaches secular things the church recognizes the importance of a role of a father, not only that but that it is the most important role he will play in this life and in the next.

I do not have as much knowledge in regards to being a father since I am going to be a mother but I can say that I know the role of a father is so important and I am grateful that I had a worthy priesthood holder as a father. Along with that he helped me so much to believe in myself and grow. Fathers play a role that mothers can not and I am thankful to my own father for that.

Here’s what I can tell you to prepare yourself for fatherhood, and again these are only a couple of things.

• ·        Read this talk, http://www.ldslastdays.com/default.aspx?page=talk_ppi.htm. Think about the things that David O McKay expresses to be the most important and implement them into your life.

• ·        Also, seek out someone who hold the same standards as you to be with.

• ·        Honor your priesthood, and get involved in your home teaching.

• ·        Pray always.  

ABCs of a Relationship and Preparation

The ABCs of creating, establishing and thriving and eternal marriage consist of:

A-     Awareness or Acquaintance with another person.

B-     Buildup of the relationship.

C-     Continuation following commitment to a long-term relationship.

The best way you can begin this process is to prepare for a successful marriage now! While you may not be married there is many things you can do in order to foster the correct interaction habits and prepare yourself to work functionally in relationships.
President Thomas S Monson said, “Decisions determine destiny. That is why it is worthwhile to look ahead, to set a course, to be at least partly ready when the decision comes.” 

In the church and even in the secular world we are taught to prepare; prepare for your future education, prepare for temptations so that you may stand strong, prepare for camp, prepare for the temple. When we think of it that we it only makes sense that we do the same when it comes to serious dating and the commitment of marriage. Do your best to be consistent with the choices you make, think them through, along with that know your own personal guidelines and principles. This is important when looking for someone and will help you to find someone with the same attributes. Having common ground will help you to build up your relationship in a healthy manner as well.

After the continuation of a commitment it can go one of two ways, both of which you should prepare for as well. 

The first is there may be a deterioration of the relationship which will ultimately end in the termination of the relationship. Break-ups of any kind can be difficult even if they are the right decision. Making sure that you have built your own relationship with the Lord will help during this time. “He can heal the heartbroken” (Luke 4:18) Praying and leaning on him maybe the only thing that will really help you get through it. Also remember that a break up now would be a lot easier than forcing a marriage and ending in a divorce down the road. 

The other way it can go results in the ultimate goal, marriage. Once this happens the biggest thing I can say to you is make sure that you and your spouse are preparing for a MARRIAGE and a life together now just a wedding. It can be really fun to plan the wedding and a building experience for your relationship, but the wedding is just one day a marriage is for eternity. Do not lose sight of that!
I was engaged once and unfortunately we ended up ending it because it was not the correct time. I know that I got caught up in the wedding rather then building up our relationship and future marital relationship with the Lord. When you start dating when you're older it is a lot different, so find ways to include the Lord in your courting, at least that is what I want to do!

Equality in Marriage

There is so much talk of equal rights, especially now a day. What is equal what is not? Are man and woman exactly the same and should they be treated so. While majority of the world encourages this teaching of everyone is completely the same and should be treated so I do not fully agree. There is nothing wrong with wants people to be treated as people but in this search for equality we down play innate even heavenly qualities that the different genders have.

Being a youth or unmarried the best thing you can do now to foster equality in your future marriage is to date people who respect you and value your role as a man or a woman. One of the biggest things about equality is learning how to work together and communicate. This might now come right off the bat but learning to tell your partner when things are bothering you or when you need help is important. If you do not share responsibilities or one person feels overwhelmed and does not share this with the other person than that can harbor many ill feelings.

"A marriage of equal partners will also be one in which the partners help one another in their stewardship." This is important to remember because while we have our one gender roles one of the best ways we can develop an equal marriage is by stepping outside of our roles to help out significant other at times. A marriage can not always be divided into chores 50/50. There will be times when you will need to do an extra 20% for your spouse, maybe they are pregnant, maybe they are out of town, or maybe they just had a really rough day. Picking up the slack sometimes is the best way to make things equal.

In the end quality really comes down to communication and making sure that you are doing everything you can do serve your spouse before yourself. In fact, David O McKay said that he believes the first question the Savior will ask you in the next life will be sometimes along the lines of, "he will request and accountability about your relationship with your wife. Have you actively been  engaged in making her happy and ensuring that her needs have been met as an individual."

As of right now I am not married but I would like to think that when I get to the next life, I will be asked the same question in regards to if I was actively engaged in making my husband happy and ensuring that his needs were met. I think the best way I can prepare myself for that time now is to develop the qualities that I would want in a husband. I am trying to prepare myself for my future husband and those covenants by making sure that I have a strong relationship with the Lord and that I try to develop the qualities that have been listed with in my patriarchal blessing.