Blended Families

Today we discussed blended families in class. There are many challenges that arise when a parent decided to not only remarry but even date once a spouse has passed away or a divorce has occurred. However blended families can be very beautiful and functional. There is no one type of normalcy for these families. Normal will not be the same normal that is once was and it will not be the same for the you as it is for the next door neighbors.

But isn't that how anything good in life is. There is no one set way to accomplish your goals, what might work for you will not work for another person. But willingness to grow an prosper, love and teach is what is important.

However there are a few tips we went over in class today:
Accepting and Accommodating.

-Accept the fact that this family is different then the previous one. This will require developing new family units and strengthening already existing family units and roles.
-Accept the fact that it will take at least two years to reach some type of normalcy. In fact people who date to remarry often take a lot longer courting and dating than that which took place in the first marriage.
-Biological parent does all the heavy discipline. This is because they are still the parent. Problems can arise in developing relationships if the "new" parent tries to step in with heavy disciple. There can be a strain on the parents relationship as well as child parent relationships. Along with that rules can be interpreted differently from one individual to another.
-These couples will have more closed door discussions than any other parents. This is a must since the biological parent should do all the heavy discipline. This is not to say that the step parent should not have some say but these things should be discussed behind closed doors in order to make sure both parents are on the same page about things.

Being a Parent

In class this week we discussed a lot in regards to parenting. Two of the most common ways people parent is either through rewards or punishments. However we discussed how provided our children with consequences is a lot healthier than rewards or punishments. Consequences can be good or bad and are discussed and agreed upon with the children before things are set into action. Consequences is the way the Lord teaches us. The best example of a parent.

We also discussed how to confront our children, first a pure request. Through this we are giving our children opportunities to learn and grow. A polite request helps provide them with direction, and an opportunity to do the request on their own. Next we provide an I statement, for example:
When you..
I feel..
Because..
I would like..
of course there will be times that we have to provide them with a firmer statement. But when we give our children respect they will then be able to treat others with respect as well. Our communication skills with them will effect the way they are able to communicate with others around them. One of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be assertive and forgiving. A hard combination but this model of of pure request, i statement and firmer request helps us to do so.

The best thing we can do is to remember our children are not only our children but children of God. Through prayer we can figure out the best routes to take for our family.